Ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn and clutch your dictionaries—Butere Girls have done it again.

In what experts are now calling “The Great Grammar Massacre of Nakuru” , three law enforcement officers were rushed to the hospital after a failed attempt to engage in a verbal showdown with students from Butere Girls, known for their Shakespearean-level English and zero tolerance for misplaced commas.

According to reports, the girls came armed with Oxford-certified vocabulary, metaphors that could melt steel, and punctuation sharp enough to slice egos. The officers had guns as a rejoinder.

“It was like watching a telenovela where only one side had the script,” said a shaken eyewitness.

The officers, bless their souls, bravely tried to respond—unfortunately,

• Officer Kiprono twisted his tongue trying to say “articulatory phonetics.”
• Officer Atieno fainted mid-dialogue after being hit with a spontaneous simile.
• Officer Otieno reportedly screamed “WHOMST???” before collapsing like a Shakespearean tragedy.

“I heard someone yell ‘henceforth!’ and then everything went black,” murmured one officer from his hospital bed.

Doctors have diagnosed the trio with Grammar Shock Syndrome, and one is said to be speaking in ellipses.

The school principal allegedly said, “We warned them. These girls don’t just speak English. ‘They perform’ it.”