“I’m 28 Years And My Body Count Is 30, I Started Doing At 19 Years”

I’m twenty-eight and my body count is thirty-nine. I started doing it when I was nineteen years old. My choice of men hasn’t been great. I’ve dated two brothers separately. I dated the elder brother first and later the younger brother. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere but I did it all the same. I dated my pastor and his junior pastor and then dated the interpreter to our pastor. I had a problem and I knew it.

When my body count was only twenty, I made a vow that by the time I got to forty, I should be married. I’m currently dating the man who is supposed to make it forty but he’s telling me no intimacy before marriage. I thought I could but two months later, I realized it wasn’t something I could stand.

I told him about it. He asked why and I explained to him that I’m not the type of girl that can wait for that long and I’m too old to be playing games. “Even if we are not going to do it very often, at least we can do it once or twice a month,” I told him. He said that wouldn’t be possible because he has made a vow not to do it until marriage.

I told him we should break up because he was pushing me into temptation. He sees it as a trivial matter that a conversation can solve. He tells me he loves me and doesn’t want me to go. He tells me when he closes his eyes, I’m the only one he sees in his future so I shouldn’t go. He even told me if I leave him, I’ll suffer in the hands of men.

I’m not asking him to give me a piece of his kidney. I’m only asking him to satisfy me once in a while to keep me away from cheating. The wheels of what I carry need to be greased from time to time so it doesn’t get rusty.

Currently, all we do is pray about it. He would wake me up in the middle of the night and ask me to join an online prayer group. I try and I fall asleep. I wake up to continue but the body is weak. He asks me, “Are you feeling any revival of change in your body?” I tell him, “I still want to be greased from time to time or just let me go.”

I’m already bored and want to go but he won’t let me. What is the next step for me? Can prayer work in this situation? How long will it take before I experience this revival he’s talking about?