10 Signs That You Are In The Wrong Relationship
Avoid them and safe your life.
Good or bad, every relationship has indicators. One common indicator in every wrong relationship is that:
You cannot be in a wrong relationship and not know.
Surprised?
As confusing as that sounds, it’s really true. Deep down within you, down, down somewhere there, you will inevitably have that nudging within you that there is something wrong with that relationship.
Here is a list of signs that show that you are in a wrong relationship.
- YOU ARE NOT YOUR REAL SELF
A wrong relationship will squeeze you up. It sucks also. It will always attempt to make you to adapt to the other person without a corresponding demand on them as well for change and adaptation. You become a shadow of your real self – always trying to be who you are not in order to make someone else accept you, love you, validate and eventually marry you. That is not love. That is a cage, a lifelong one. Get out of it now before it is too late. - YOU ARE FULL OF SELF DOUBT
A situation where you aren’t sure of anything. I mean, there are no inner guarantees and assurances within you that everything will be alright. Even when you now seem to be sure, that assurance is short lived – it soon fizzles out into outer space and you are back to square one. You are not always sure about the tomorrow of that relationship. It seems to be looking good today, but you have a feeling everything might soon go south for both of you. - IT BRINGS VITAL RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE TO A CLOSE
There are vital relationships in your life before this lover boy, lover girl came on board your life. Relationships with parents, siblings, mentors, business partners etc. I am talking about relationships upon which your life has been premised before he/she came. Relationships that have added colour and balance to your life. Relationships without which your whole essence is not in view. If those kinds of relationships come to an end, there is fire on your mountain, don’t wait… run, run and run fast. - YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF BELONGING
A good relationship should give you a sense of belonging. It must of necessity make you feel belonged. If it doesn’t make you feel that way, you might be in the wrong relationship. You are out of place in her life and you don’t even fix well with his plans, you may need to think about it very well.
Not having a sense of belonging is like being invited to a party without being given a chair to sit. You feel unwelcomed. You have the feeling that you are not needed and you are just there like a figure head. - YOU DON’T HAVE A SAY
That relationship is wrong for you when major decisions in the relationship has to be made for you. From the beginning of your relationship, you must ensure that you have a say in major matters. At least, it should be 50-50. There should be compromises in a love relationship though; even that compromise should be a two-way arrangement and never one sided. Once it is one sided, that is a problem staring you in the face.
You are a stake holder in the relationship and your opinion should count. Get this from me, any man or woman that has no respect for your opinion has no respect for you.
- YOUR EXCITEMENTS ARE NORMAL
There is nothing normal about a correct love relationship – everything is abnormal. Your excitement and heart beat for this person should be out of this world.
If your excitements over your relationship is a normal one, it is most likely not going to give birth to a blissful marriage.
When Adam saw Eve his wife, he exclaimed, “this is the flesh of my flesh and the bone of my bones…”
Your excitement should be roof lifting and extravagant that you will need pre-marital counselling to keep things in proper perspective.
Some of us are more expressive of our feelings than others. However, no matter how quiet you are, within your own heart, you know this guy/girl always wake up something on your inside that intoxicates you. - IT UNDERMINES YOUR BOUNDARIES
Any relationship that has no boundaries is headed for the rock even before it begins. Therefore, any relationship that has no regard for your personal boundaries is not a good one for you. It is worse, if you have no personal boundaries yourself.
A man or woman that has no respect for your personal boundaries has no boundaries himself/herself. That is an accident that is going to happen someday.
Your physical boundary is very important – it must never be compromised. It’s got to be a NO-NO to sex before marriage. Any man or woman that is against that is either a play boy or a con girl.
Your emotional boundaries are also important. Your emotional health is very important in that relationship. Your spiritual boundaries, financial boundaries, sexual boundaries ( sexual styles and adventures that will be adopted in marriage)etc should never be trivialized. You must not allow them to be put to the background or you end up being at the background yourself.
- THE RELATIONSHIP HAS NO TRACEABLE POSITIVE
IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE.
You look at yourself 360 degrees and you cannot place your finger on the positive impacts of that relationship on your life, you are a joker – what an expensive joke!
You should have practical reasons to be glad you are in a relationship with him/her. The reason is because, no relationship leaves you the way it meets you. If it is not moving you forward, then, it is moving you backward. If it is not making you better, then, you are getting worse without knowing (that won’t be you).
What am driving at is, it doesn’t leave you neutral; if it is not adding to you, it is taking something away from you. Do the mathematics yourself
- IT DEPRIVES YOU OF THE RIGHT TO BE VULNERABLE
Being vulnerable around the one you love should be natural and normal. It shouldn’t inject fear and vulnerability into your heart.
Vulnerability is one of the major features of a good relationship. However, a wrong relationship robs you of the right to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable means, I trust you well enough to bring you into the private lounge of my life (the most sensitive part), knowing fully well that you will not take advantage of me.
You should be able to let down your guard around them at least a little. You should be comfortable to be yourself around them as much as possible per time.
The moment you cant be vulnerable in your relationship, you begin to9 keep secrets, playing hide and seek… and you know the meaning of that!
That vulnerability continues until the day of the wedding where all inhibitions are finally out of place.
There is free flow in a relationship where you are most comfortable to be vulnerable around your partner.
- YOU ARE AFRAID OF BEING JILTED
The first aim and intent of a wrong relationship is to break your heart. When the heart is broken, everything is broken and that can be prevented.
You are in love with this girl and you are always scared of her dumping you someday, you have not found a relationship yet. The guy you are in love with makes you as comfortable as possible, but you are always scared that he will soon change and kick you out of his life; don’t wait for a real experience to confirm that fear.
That your fear is legitimate. One day down the line in your relationship, the unthinkable will happen and it is better to prevent it right now by being on guard and responding appropriately. Protect you heart as no one will do it for you. Fear always attract its object. It is either the fear is out of the way or you let go of the relationship altogether.
Finally, these are some of the signs never to ignore in a relationship. If they show up in your relationship. Its a clear sign you need to take a second look at that relationship. You will not fall into a trap and your relationship will succeed.
